Here it is: (ny name is Miranda Berney btw)
I was born 25 years ago on November 29 1984. Some say I hail from your imagination, others like to believe I grew up in good Ol’ Ontario. Now that I live in Whistler BC, many things use up my spare time - of course to fund my snowboarding habits I work a glorious job doing glorious things that I may have to kill you for if I told you. Ill tell you one thing though - it pays enough to keep me alive. If you see me around the village, say hi!
I like everything, and I like it rough, haha. More detail? I looove snowboarding in the pow pow à I just came back from visiting my brother, who lives 2 hours from Castelgar (ie. middle of nowhere).There, we spent our day snowmobiling part way up the mountain, then climbing for about 2 hours, just to get one fabulous run through the powder, sinking at least a foot into to the meter and a half of white fluff. I also like: drinking, adventure, good karma, dessert, socializing/partying/drinking, traveling, dancing music, drinking…the birds and the bees…you know, everything….Everything EXCEPT mustard, anything related to mustard, and my landlord who increased rent because of the Olympics. Oh, and selfish, lying people - I don’t like them. Does that make me too picky?
My favorite food is a toughie because I like sooo much of it - but theres one thing I cant ever turn down, and that’s anything sweet. No specifications - it can be cake with whip cream and ice cream, or just ice cream, or pancakes with syrup, or moms cookies. Then theres chocolate and peanut butter - a whole other level! Yuuuummmmyyy!! Did I mention I also try to eat healthy?
My favourite bevy doesnt really go with my massive sweet tooth addiction. Its red wine. Without the alcohol percentage, my other option would be juice - the closer to the real fruit, the better.
EUROPEAN APRES AT SAVAGE BEAGLE ON WEDNESDAYS!!! SOOO awesome, and I never missed a night. You have to love the drunken dinners at 8pm….and Longhorn all other days J
I think narrowing my favorite run at Whistler Blackcomb would be mean to the other runs, but if I had to choose: anything through the trees or in the backside around harmony chair. I love harmony chair fresh pow pow. Id be more specific but then id be giving away my secrets. Bowls anywhere are super fun though.
While Im making my way down the mountain, theres one type of music I listen to: the birds and the trees and my board hitting the snow. That’s right, I groove to mother nature at its best. No tunes for me. Deal with it.
I used to live near creekside, so my first run was always on Whistler, wherever the last chair opened, and preferably where the least amt of people are. I scurry my heart out to get some fresh tracks. My last run was always: down side runs that I don’t remember the name of, ending at Dave Murry Downhill - this year, I’ll be groovin and cruisin down Blackcomb.
So now you want my boarding ability? Well, I’ll tell you this: I started skiing at age 3 but switched to the dark side, snowboarding, when I was 12 - that’s 13 seasons of solid riding. I instructed for four years, I avoid groomed runs like the plague, and black diamonds don’t scare me. Enough said.
Why I am destined to be Miss Powder Mountain:
Im from Ontario where powder doesn’t exist, so I move to Whistler - and every fresh snowfall I jump around, super giddy like a little school girl (and theres already been a few falls of pretty white fluff this year!!!). Then I hit the mountain - and you will never find me on groomed runs (are you kidding - that’s what Ontario is for) - Im all about the trees and pow pow baby, cutting through the glorious fresh stuff and feeling like Queen of the Universe. Quite an accomplishment, I think lol. This year my first run was in the interior BC backcountry through waist deep powder on Nov 11! If THAT doesn’t say it, nothing will.
Off the mountain, I can be a weee bit of a party animal, so Ill make sure everyone is having a good time! Im telling you, it was meant to be.
Not to mention, I rock the caspa.
Jokey:
This is the only one I remember from when I was little: How do you get out of an elephant? You run round and round until you get pooped out. I have no idea why it stuck.
This one is a true story: I broke my pinky finger. How? The mechanical bull. At a White Trash pary. In Montreal. Don’t ask.
A more “appropriate” joke: How do turtles have sex? In……………………………….................and out……………………..and in……………………etc.
3 wickedly funny things to get the crowd bumping at this Party:
- Sex positions in 30 seconds: take 4 or 5 groups of THREE people, and they have to physically create and show the crowd as many sex positions (clothes optional) as possible in 30 seconds where all 3 are participating. Each group goes one by one, and the crowd decides through cheering which group wins. If theres a tie, then make a tie breaker.
- whats a party without drinking beer in a unique way? The hosts of the party pay for the beer, then choose a group of people to compete. The competitors have to drink a bottle of beer in the most creative way possible. It doesn’t matter which hole it goes through, whos holding the bottle/can, or what position that person is in while chugging it down, but it all has to disappear. The competition is judged in 2 ways: who drank it the fastest, and who did it the most creatively. Again, the crowd chooses the winner. Contestants can either all go at the same time, or individually (that can be decided later).
- A hoe down dance HAHHA but I don’t think anyone would do it. Maybe a hoe down dance to the Mario brothers Nintendo song. If that doesn’t fly, marshmallows are always fun. How many marshmallows can you fit in your mouth at once? …not into that sorta white stuff? Then maybe a handstand contest - with or without snowboard boots on. Advance to a wheel barrow contest maybe?
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Alrighty, thats a wrap!
Miranda
